A few years ago, while I was driving my kids to school, I heard on the radio about Ashley Madison.
It was when the site, created with the purpose of Married people to find an affair online, was hacked exposing the identity of many (a huge majority, men)
I was shocked that such a thing even existed and because my eight years marriage was great, I didn’t even understand the point of people using online dating for an affair, in my head, well, if you wanted to have an affair you didn’t need to look for it online, right?
Four years ago, when I started to have problems in my marriage, I decided to create a profile and check it out.
On the first day, I ‘met’ someone that I found interesting – or let’s say… someone who put some effort into their profile and didn’t send Dick pics.
He was older and handsome.
He was married, three kids, a good job, and looking for the same thing that I was looking for.
Looking back, we were very naive, and I am happy that my first experience was with him.
We arranged lunch near my work, and we clicked, from there we had afternoon dates every 3 or 4 weeks. It was just perfect, I was never late at home, and my husband was never suspicious.
But then I fell hard for him.
Ashley Madison is not a place for you to fall in love.
Things started to get serious with us, and I did even considered divorce, but he broke up with me.
I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t grieving, I couldn’t sleep.
After two days he came back very apologetic, saying that he just freaked out with the way things were going.
I took him back, but it was never the same. That perfect image I had of him protecting me and understanding me like no one never did, just disappeared, it was still good, but for me, an affair shouldn’t be just good, it had to be Extraordinary to worth the risk.
We kept seeing each other for nearly two years until he decided to move out of his house, and then things were not fun anymore, and it was my turn to leave- I wanted a married man, not a single man.
I am in my early 40’s, professional, classy, high sex drive, great imagination, independent and a very practical person- I would consider myself as a great catch, so I knew I would meet someone and recover from my first experience.
After him, I met two more guys on Ashley Madison but chatted with around 20, many of them didn’t know what they wanted and what they had to offer- believe me, affair will cost you money and time, hotel rooms are not for free and it is not one text message that will get you a worthy and classy woman on it, you will have to invest some time – so Ashley Madison is not a place if you are looking for a free sex – maybe an uncomplicated one, but never free– I am not talking about paid sex, but I hope you are not expecting a woman to share a hotel bill or to have sex in the car, right? – Personaly, if I was to spend money on man I would hire a professional 25 years old who would keep his stamina on track.
My second experience was with R, he was completely Fucked up, and we enjoyed each others company, but it was exhausting to interact with him- even tho our first date after chatting for 2 months was remarkable-we met abroad as we didn’t live in the same country so we met half way, I had the feeling it wouldn’t last. The following dates he came to me as he had business in here. – but given his depression I found hard to keep it up.
Ashley Madison also gave me H, the guy that I love spending time with for one year and who seems to want the same as me; we are similar in many ways, and we make each other happy and fulfilled and satisfied and challenged.
Would I eventually end my marriage to be with him as his partner/wife? I doubt but I don’t rule it out.
So if you are wondering if Ashley Madison is a good place to find an affair, I would say so. But as in any relationship you have to put effort on it, don’t send dick pics and treat the woman you are chatting with respect, believe me, even though I do think that many are looking for the sex we don’t have at home, we are also looking for attention- being a gentleman is never out style, especially if we are talking about an affair.